Not Playing Again

Written ~ (04/29/26)
Published ~ (Unpublished)
Uploaded ~ (10/17/26)

So confusing, as you put your hand on me
Unknowingly, knowing something was wrong
Telling me playtime, was a fun act to be
Feeling so gross, unable to fight all along

The family would feel shame if they only knew
Never speaking about it--you are twisted and dark
They never suspected this is something you could do
At such a young age, I thought I could protect their heart

Now I know, what kind of monster you are
Innocence and youth, robbed by your desire
As I grew, I wished you would die from afar
If I told, you said they would call me liar

I cried so many nights, when you were finally away
I hated you and now hate myself in this confusion
I hid my cuts, filled with such disgust from your "play"
Your love was misguided and nothing but illusion

So many spiraling thoughts, I hate to own
I just want release from these thoughts, I want to bleed
This reality of brokenness is now my home
I can't even utter my own name, because I'm no longer me

Not Playing Again

Content: Childhood Sexual Abuse

What was stolen from you was precious.
Know this though: who you are today is still that same beautiful person…
and still just as precious.

Click anywhere when you're ready